Monday, November 30, 2009


I know that some women feel somewhat put out when a man stands when they walk into a room or holds the door open for them, leads them into or out of a room and takes their coat at the coat check counter.  I have often wondered why these acts are so offensive to them. I had a wonderful opportunity to spend time with a true gentleman.  He was soft spoken, smiled easily, quick witted, easy to talk to and lots to say, he was kind.  There was no discomfort in his way of being. This is just who he is.  He wasn't trying to impress me, or hit on me, or demean me in anyway. He wanted to hear what I had to say and wanted to share his thoughts as well. It was truly wonderful to meet and spend time with this person.

So ladies, it's ok to be treated like a lady. It takes nothing from us or our abilities.  Yes, I can pull in my own chair, put on and take off my own coat. I can open my own door and ask the waiter for more water or wine.  I can do all those things for myself and it's nice that there are men in the world who feel perfectly comfortable doing all those things for me with no strings attached, no ulterior motive.  I am not less intelligent, or less anything else.  It is simply how I prefer to be treated and I was fortunate enough to spend time with someone today who was perfectly comfortable with my preference.

Someone once told me that the Women's movement did more to harm women than anything else.  I don't know that it did more to harm us.  I think that somehow though our ways of being that were natural to us were undermined in someway. We judged those who wanted to be mothers as somewhat less ambitious.  From the perspective of my present, I can honestly say that I have no regrets in my life. Every thing I 've done has brought me to this moment.  I have often wondered what my now would be like if I wasn't so driven in my career.  How would my now look if I had been a fulltime Mom?  What would my children be like?  Don't get me wrong, we managed to raise 2 successful children but I do wonder sometimes.

I am many things in this world.  I am a mother, a wife, a business owner, a friend, a daughter, a traveller but first and foremost a lady who enjoys being treated as such.  So, I call forth the gentleman in every man.  Chivalry is not dead, its just been on a hiatus.


  1. It IS nice to encounter courteous people, whether they are men or women. It's too bad that what was once standard practice of decency has fallen out of fashion. But there are still those out there who've taken the old ways and integrated them into their fabrics.

    Also, I'm always struck when I hear or read a mother wondering how her children would be different if she hadn't worked full time. I was a full-time mother or was always working at home as a writer while my boys were growing up. I often wonder if they'd be more independent if I'd spent more time away from them. As it is, neither of them seem to be all that eager to pursue certain things. Mind you, this probably has more to do with my personality (caregiver!) than my chosen occupation. Still... I'm almost positive they'd operate with more confidence and motivation if I hadn't always been there to "do for them." Oh well... I'm considering an escape plan. :-) (just kidding.)


  2. The girls I hang out with are of a much younger generation, even younger than my own children. They like to get snarky with me when I open a door for them or help them with their coat. they get snarky with their mouth but ALWAYS smile with their eyes.

  3. I love to be treated like a lady even by women