I was talking today about the many people I've lost in the past 6 months. It was an interesting feeling to purposely remember them. A couple of them I had never met but I could empathize with my friends who lost their loved ones. I could remember what it felt like when it was me in abject disbelief that this person so full of life could be gone.
There are many beliefs about what happens when you die. Some say that we are lost forever and that our life is over, ashes to ashes and dust to dust. Really? I don't know about that.
Some say that we are evaluated, judged by the divine who then decides whether our eternity will be spent in heaven or hell. Others have a belief in pergutory, a holding place that allows us to repent for our sins and be forgiven. That seems like punishment as well. I mean if I make mistake, shouldn't I be taught better?
As I mourn my friends and empathize with other friends about those we've lost, I have a hard time with any scenarios that doesn't lead to new life and bliss. I remember when Princess Di and Mother Theresa died, we were living in Brooklyn. I was sitting on my stoop saddened by these losses and an image came into my mind that persisted. I saw the Earth spinning away in Space surrounded in Light. The energies of the those that had crossed over were adding their energies to the collection of light beings supporting those of us left behind. I believe we do go everywhere all at once.
The limitations we allowed when we had bodies are released at the time of death and the magnificence of our souls explodes into everywhere.
I feel like those that have crossed over are still with me, inspiring me, protecting me, nudging me, letting me know I'm loved. For the ones that I knew personally, my memories of them come up at interesting times. Pouring a glass of wine in one of Rosemary's old glasses or wearing the hematite necklace that Barbara made for me. Sitting outside in the sun with Margaret having lunch. Ted taught me how to use the image of the dragon to call in the quarters before meditation and to meditate with them. They left an indelible mark on me. I can remember them and celebrate them. Whatever conflict there was in our relationship doesn't matter anymore.
There transition taught me that nothing matters but the next heart beat, the next breath and with each comes new opportunity, with each comes change and new perspective if we allow it.
So, the lesson in all this change is, why not now? I'll forgive you eventually so why not now? Why not allow the experience of bliss now? Why not allow the experience of joy, now? Why not love, hope, laugh, now? Why not smile now? Why not appreciate what I have now? There really is nothing worthy of our unhappiness. There really is nothing more important than our joy.
I know you're probably thinking that your situation is different, your anger is justified, your pain is different. What if it's not? What if my anger, pain, disappointment is just as real and significant as yours? What if I simply chose a different perspective? What if I just gave mine a different level of priority and made my happiness more important than my circumstance? What if I just looked at my life from the standpoint of my epitaph and asked myself how important is this really from that vantage point?
As I ponder the lives of those that crossed over, I know I haven't lost them really. They just get to be available to a lot more people and they are lending their energy to assist us with bodies to enjoy ourselves and be happy. I would prefer to imagine my loved ones this way. We really do live forever. Our bodies just wear out ever so often.
See you later Rosie, Margaret, Ted, Paul, Tina's brother, Edgar's brother, Barbara. Thanks for taking care of us.